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Novelty Items

Instead of using language and forms of the art world, Novelty Items borrows from consumer culture. Sometimes this work proposes a solution to an imaginary problem with failing marketing: no one will want to buy it. Sometimes it abstracts the needs of a particular market: no one will find use for the product.


The work provides very mild entertainment. Maybe even a chuckle.  And to those with art-literacy, it can become a serious art world critique.

These fine, hand crafted miniature coffins can bring the right about of gravitas to any solemn situation. Perfect for dead art supplies or deceased goldfish, these coffins are versatile. Pay your respects the best way you can. Hand made in America. Customizable dimensions.

Bath bomb filled with spare change. Optimal for tossing and wishing. Sometimes $1.73 worth of wishes. Whatever I found in the bottom of my pocket. Soothing lavender scent.

These products are for all bodies regardless of shape and size. It’s important to make indulgence a priority every once in a while. Celebrate life. Celebrate womanhood. Tweet #truebeautyloveliving to join our community. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. You are beautiful.

Brought to you by the Plant Parenthood Community, these warm, knit hats are perfect for keeping your plant child toasty during the cold months. Necessary for responsible plant parents, this hat is versatile and very fashionable. Hand made in America. Available in different sizes, small, medium (shown), and large.

Are you thinking about trying out marriage? Do you want to deactivate your Facebook account? We are here for you! Let us throw you a party or funeral all on Facebook, organized just like a real life event! We would love to work with you! Now without Ned! Things are great!

Organize your nail polish collection on these sets of durable plaster teeth. Help anthropologists 1,000 years in the future identify the gorgeous shade of nail polish you are wearing when they uncover your body. Preparation for identity preservation is a fad that’s hitting hard. You care about fashion and now the future can too. Hand made in America.

Also brought to you by the Plant Parenthood Community and hand made in America, these soft scarves complement any plant outfit – with the added benefit of warmth! Keep your plant child’s little leafy greens warm and cozy with these marvelous scarves. Available in small (shown) and large.

Super stylish and trendy, these timeless temporary tattoos designs are inspired by the real deal! Each design is lifted from real permanent, meaningful tattoos from real people who have each suffered and struggled. Now you can wear these reminders of hardship just like them. Show off your fake sorrows. These temporary tattoos are easily removable with baby oil. Hand made in America, these fashion tattoos are a must!

Non-toxic, old-fashioned fun for the whole family. Varieties of play include untying the fine-quality, custom-made knots, or tying your own with high-strength, cotton fiber string. Show your kids what entertainment was like before television! Fun for all ages!

It’s tough looking for a job these days and even tougher landing an interview. Forget about nabbing the actual job! Stand out from the crowd with these ingenious business cards. Fitting nicely in some pockets, these convenient wooden business cards can’t accidentally be used as scrap paper or thrown out. 82% customizable! Let your business cards make a solid first impression.

Baby centipede pentagram necklace for all of your witchy, alt-goth needs.

Congratulations on your purchase of The Most Controversial Object in America. This sculpture of a progesterone receptor is “locked” by the drug, Mifepristone. The progesterone receptor cannot interact with progesterone now, and does not produce the proteins needed to maintain a hospitable uterine lining. The uterine lining breaks down, and menstruation begins. This will abort an embryo if it is no more than 10 weeks old. This sculpture is a medically induced abortion. Enjoy!

Now any ordinary grocery bag can transform into a high fashion designer bag! Easy to use, these durable stainless steal frames are coated in a high gloss fashion enamel and are available in three gorgeous colors. These super lightweight designs are modeled after real designer bags. Hand made in America. Available colors and designs are evening plum, sunshine yellow, and electric lime.

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